It's been a long road coming....

So my life has changed in many ways over the last two years. I have blogged in that time too, May 4th of 2016 I got my weight loss surgery, then on March 2nd 2017 I had to have emergency surgery to get my gallbladder out due to rapid weight loss. I did get a job on October 21 2017 as a caregiver and that has been a rocky road also. I am almost to my 2 year weight loss anniversary and I have lost almost 100 pounds and it has been the hardest road I have even been down. In the first year I lost 70lbs and was stuck for a very long time but the last year has been where I have been dropping the pounds but I still have to be careful on what I eat and drink because I can still gain the weight back. I still have to eat smaller meals but I find it that the last year I don't get hunger pains any more so I tend to forget to eat but I have been real good about get my water in and I do drink between 49 to 80 or more oz in water a day. I think working has helped me lose most of the weight since I am always moving around but I still need to get better at going to the gym to help tone my body up since i have a ton of losses skin.
We are also getting ready to find a forever house, we are out growing our small house and the kids need their own space and own room to call their own. It still may be a while before we actually move but it is so much fun looking at house in our area and out of state since we don't know for sure if we want to still live here or move to another state. A lot of things are going on and happening in our lives where we just want to move away from all the drama that families can cause.
This post is all over the place but I am just trying to play catch up. For me this last year I have seen my depression getting worse and I know why and I can't fix it at this time. I know how to fix it but I know my family and husband won't support me on it and plus it's a ton of money to do so, in 2012 after my 4th child was born I got my tubes tied and i thought it was a good choice for me just because my family pushed me to it and my husband doesn't want anymore kids but as of this year I want more then anything to have another baby and I know I choose it and I regret it more then anything but I also have a ton of PTLS which stands for Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome and it is a very real thing that most doctors won't tell you about or the side effects of getting  your tubes tied but that will be a different post. I know I will have to deal and live with the choice I made but it's so hard to think that I did this to myself, I should have waited instead of getting it done but I swear I thought I was done and at the time I was done but now it actually makes me so sad and depressed when I see people pregnant and they take it for granted or seeing close family members have in ng babies and I do pit on a good act to hide my pain which is easy since I had to do it my whole life.
I am going to try to post at least once a day or at least a few times a weeks. So stay tuned for more.